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4 mos. "I just stared at the ceiling waiting for it to end." Throughout her school years, Erin Merryn of Schaumburg, Ill., received plenty of lessons in the dangers her elders thought she could encounter during her childhood. I left all the fragmented sentences, misspelled words, because I wanted readers to hear the voice of a young child.. 5 talking about this. Well, something shocking happened. (Josh Rultenberg/Spectrum News 1), California Consumer Limit the Use of My Sensitive Personal Information, California Consumer Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information, The Ohio Senate is considering a bill to teach elementary, middle and high school students how to protect themselves from sexual predators, Erins Law is named after Erin Merryn who was sexually abused as a child, Thirty-seven states have passed Erins Law and Merryn has tried three times in seven years to get the bill passed in Ohio, House Bill 105 overwhelmingly passed the Ohio House a year ago. The Children's Advocacy Center of Northwest Cook County Illinois. Details Eleven-year-old Erin Merryn's life was transformed on the night she was sexually abused by her cousin, someone she loved and trusted. They talked for hours about what had happened, and the next day told their parents about their shared horror. [3], "I was not educated on not keeping secrets if someone was hurting me. How I wondered am I suppose to tell this stranger my pain when I am too ashamed to even talk in detail with my parents about it. Little did I know by moving I was getting that much closer to my next abuser. But both she and her sister did tell their stories. The founder of Erin's Law. She lives in Chicago with her husband and two daughters. Merryn realized he had been molesting her sister too. I also learned in group how to create a safe place to escape to when memories flooded my memory.While I was not ready at thirteen and fourteen to immediately share the journey of what all I went through because I was still too ashamed the Children's Advocacy Center laid the foundation in my healing to one day let that voice be heard. This law could have given me the ability to know I would be believed, that this is not a secret to keep, and how to report it. A survivor of childhood sexual abuse, Erin has worked diligently to lobby every state to pass Erin's Law, beginning with her home state of Illinois in 2009. Merryn said the abuse only stopped because her family moved away. Who were they? But many schools, she said, are using faculty social workers and psychologists because research shows its better taught by in-house staff then outside agencies. No one would believe me, she recalls this man telling her. But what followed was depression,an eating disorder and a suicide attempt. Lawmakers are in the dark about this. By breaking your silence you are reclaiming your voice. A week later, she got a reply. I think he knew that once he had us conditioned, we were easy targets. She is the author of Stolen Innocence, Living for . Two years later, though,whenErin was 11, she said her older teenage cousin started abusing her too. "I didn't understand what was going on," she says. Do you still stay in contact with him? Her courage breaking her silence allowed me to take a stand for both of us and be brave and tell her we can't keep this a secret, that we have to tell our parents. After her parents decided to move Erin's abuse ended but only brought her that much closer to her next abuser, an older teenage cousin who lived . He got us quiet and continued to get away with it. Requiring personal body safety education in public schools. Merryn spoke to members of the Ohio SenatePrimary and Secondary Education Committee of how she was sexually abused as a child. As an adult, she's reclaimed the voice her abusers tried to silence. It was taught every year, and when a creepy van pulled up when I was 12 having a lemonade and the man put his hand out the window asking me to take the change those lessons immediately played back in my mind. Under Erins Law, the New Jersey Commissioner of Education must provide school districts with age-appropriate sample learning activities and resources designed to implement this requirement. Merryn said she was never taught to speak up about it, so shekept it a secret. Maryland is the latest state, joining the crusade last month. What do you think made him want to apologize, finally? In the end, he was given seven years of probation, 1,000 hours of community service, he attended a two-year sex offender program, and couldnt come within 100 feet of Erin or her sister. Therapists (and) an amazing school psychologist in high school really helped me heal. Alaska Dispatch: So often we hear about "helpers" who encouraged a victim to come forward, or reported for him or her. She knew exactly what she was doing by asking simple questions on my life, friends, what I did for fun, and my family. Has anything particularly heartened you? Merryn spoke to members of the Ohio Senate Primary and Secondary Education Committee of how she was sexually abused as a child. The abuse went on for years. Instead I am still running from Brian. But then, it started happening behind closed doors at crowded family functions. Did anything make you an attractive target, or particularly vulnerable? God has healed me, made me whole again, and has shown me the ability to forgive, the freedom it brings yourself, and shown me my purpose in this life, and that is to give kids the voice I didn't have. Now, thanks to state Sen. Anthony R. Bucco, children of the Garden State may soon benefit from Merryns harrowing experience, knowledge and hope. However, Merryn said this time the perpetrator was an older cousin, someone she had viewed as a brother figure. Erin's Law is the first US child sexual abuse prevention education law requiring children be educated in schools. However, she said theabuseand rape continueduntil she was almost nine. 2023, Charter Communications, all rights reserved. (See Gary Glitter's sex scandal.). Merryn: I cover these two words in my second book, "Living for Today." One day, a particular entry she wrote caught her eye. Here's how to protect your kids from online predators. Call it what it is: penis and vagina.. "The new bill brings a mandate," Merryn said, "mandating that all (Illinois) schools--pre-school through 12th grade--must begin next fall teaching sexual-abuse prevention education in the schools." This representative did get on her mic. Her dad singled me out during the party. Merryn: I was terrified. If someone ever does touch you in those areas, you tell immediately., Merryn suggests the books The Swimsuit Lesson and The Right Touch.. It just turned into a screaming match between my mom and his mom, your son did this, your girls are liars, remembered Erin. When Merryn eventually confided in Ashley about what had happened, her friend was not surprised; in fact, the scene was depressingly familiar to her. The first abuser, our neighbor, is someone I think who did this to any girl he had access to. You seem incredibly resilient. She is the founder of Erin's Law, which requires public schools to teach children personal body safety on the prevention of child sexual ab ", Merryn's family, including her two sisters, moved to another neighborhood in the same town when Merryn was 8, and she stopped seeing Ashley. She is the founder of Erin's Law, which requires public schools to teach children personal body safety on the prevention of child sexual abuse. But where were the eight ways on how to "get away and tell today?" Erins ongoing abuse with her friends uncle was over. [2] The family pressed charges, and the cousin eventually confessed to three counts of child sexual abuse. Through her personal diary, written during the years of her abuse, Erin shares her journey through pain and confusion to inner strength and, ultimately, forgiveness. Nightmares. She also wantsteachers andstafftrained on the topic. But Ashley begged her not to say anything because Richard had told her they would "lose the house" if the girls told anyone. Anyone who has felt victimized, ashamed, isolated, and silenced by their abusers will receive a road-map in the book for self-discovery, forgiveness, and empowerment to overcome trauma and live fully and fearlessly for today. Should someone have known something was wrong sooner? Alaska Dispatch: You have since spoken up in a big way. In 2014 People magazine named her one of fifteen women changing the world along with Oprah and Hillary Clinton. In 2010, Merryn began a crusade to get Erin's Law passed across America. As an adult, she's reclaimed the voice her. I will come get you, I know where you live, Erin recalled. "Erin Merryn's Law," a bill that will create a task force to study child sexual abuse in West Virginia, passed the state Senate unanimously on Monday. Innocence lost. Hes grown into quite the little man and doesnt want me near the bathroom when he showers or gets dressed and I respect that. Merryn: What caused me to come forward was unfortunately finding out that my little sister was also being abused. She is an activist against child sexual abuse as well as the founder of Erin's Law, which requires public schools to teach children personal body safety in order to prevent child sexual abuse. She was abused. The more I shared the more I felt heard like I was lifting this burden off me and by the way the forensic interviewer was talking to me and encouraged me she gave me the message she believed me. Erin said he would occasionally downplay what he did, but he never denied it. Did you have a helper or helpers in your life? Donors may not deduct contributions made to Erins Law under IRC Section 170 (c) (2). I also encourage parents to have a code word with their kids, she said. I often say victims are those who are killed by their attackers. Do I know the difference between the truth and a lie? Behind those numbers are the faces of innocent children whose childhoods were shattered by actions of evil and sickness. See her personal website at ErinMerryn.net Sexually abused and raped from age 6-8 by an adult neighbor Erin was threatened to stay silent by her abuser. After graduating with Bachelors and Masters Degrees in social work from Western Illinois and Aurora Universities in 2008 and 2009, Health Communications published her second book, Living for Today: From Incest and Molestation to Fearlessness and Forgiveness. I feel it would have given me the voice that these men took from me. Erin is a mom to three little girls. With every passing week, and with every visit, Erin gets closer to her goal. From the age of 11 to 13, I was repeatedly sexually abused at the hands of a family member, an older cousin, she said. Of course I was asked what I was referring to and I said my cousin Brian has been doing bad things. In Living for Today, readers find that Erin cultivated the strength to face her abuser . So be careful sending little Tommy for ice at the machine down the hall and inform teens who often book motels after prom. These days hes almost 9 and I dont really tag along to play dates anymore, but every time I drop him off, I tell him, if you have to use the bathroom, lock the door and have privacy. Who encouraged you to keep talking, to keep fighting? Get hyperlocal forecasts, radar and weather alerts. In 2010, Merryn helped create Erin's Law, which was the first law to be passed in the U.S. that required children to be taught sexual abuse prevention in school. She didn't want to stop visiting her friend but tried to find times when Richard wasn't around. She urged kids to come forward if they or someone they know is being sexually abused. It happened again after we moved away, when a cousin started abusing me in my sleep when I was 11 years old. But at age 11, Merryn's second nightmare began. I didnt want to talk to anyone about this. I sat next to a woman who I had just met moments earlier in the waiting room with my sister and mom. By speaking up even when family is against the idea, it is freedom for a survivor and allows them to reclaim a piece of their lives back. But nobody asked those important questions. It is my hope hearing my message today youll see the importance of what Im here to talk to you about, said Erin Merryn. In just a few short years, she has already persuaded half the countryto pass similar versions of the law. She shows no signs of fatigue, and she seems ready. Alaska Dispatch: You were preyed upon not once, but twice (two different abusers during different stages of childhood). He'd conditioned and kept me silent for two years, so he knew he could get away with that behavior, even with so many people around. Merryn is an author, activist, and founder of Erin's Law. Realizing I was not a fault and learning to let go of the guilt. Erin has spoken at over 250 CAC events.In 2008 she began writing legislators to require personal body safety be taught to kids in school. Alaska Dispatch: When you decided to confront and start corresponding with your cousin, how did it go at first? The Church Sex Abuse Scandals Around the World, Child-Abuse Case Reveals Vietnam's Lax Social Services, (Read why most child abuse goes unreported). Someone should have known in my earlier years when I was being abused by an adult neighbor. Thinking she had finally escaped the endless sexual abuse, Merryn, the keynote speaker at the Sept. 26 luncheon, was once again sexually abused by a cousin beginning at the age of 11 at a family home in Lake Geneva. She wasn't always successful. I will not stop until children in all 50 states are protected from sexual abuse.". Product Details Resources and Downloads Stolen Innocence Triumphing Over a Childhood Broken by Abuse: A Memoir By Erin Merryn Published by Health Communications Inc EB Distributed by Simon & Schuster LIST PRICE $12.99 PRICE MAY VARY BY RETAILER Get a FREE ebook by joining our mailing list today! Buccos legislation has received support from prominent victims rights advocates and support organizations, including Morris County advocate Richard Pompelio; and Patrice Lenowitz, founder and executive director of The Nurtured Parent Support Group for Survivors of Domestic Abuse, a Bergen County organization serving survivors and protective parents across the state. She was named Glamour Magazine Woman of the Year in 2012 and a People magazine Hero Among Us for her tireless work promoting Erin's Law nationwide with a mission to our keep children safe by educating them about personal body safety. My mom was a mess, that day she probably cried for 10 straight hours, looking at my dad saying, we missed all the red flags, her grades, she was depressed, Erin recalled. A place I went to with my eleven year old sister and mother. Pat Quinn on Thursday signed a new law extending sexual abuse education in Illinois schools. Merryn saidif parents are not comfortable, the bill allows parents toopt their kids out of the education. My favorite story is out of my own state of Illinois (One lawmaker) had been against school mandates her entire career, and (the sponsor) warned me, she is going to get on her mic and go on about how this should not be passed, schools should not be mandated to do things, etc. Today there are more then 700 Children Advocacy Centers in America and millions of children have walked through those doors.Before there were CAC's children were interviewed numerous times in places such as police stations. It would be many more years until that voice would become the strong, confident woman that I have become. One personal safety lesson learned at school that actually helped me in life was "stranger danger." In 2008, Erin decided to step up her efforts to protect children nationwide and started writing state legislators to ask them to pass laws requiring schools to better educate children, school employees and parents how to prevent and stop child sexual abuse. I found myself locked in bedrooms, basements, bathrooms, a car, garage and repeatedly assaulted by my cousin.. Sunshine and a few clouds. Merryn says a few months ago, a local . From the time my son Jack was around 3, I began having the private parts talk with him. Unfortunately, children who are abused once are at even higher risk of being abused again by someone else because they are vulnerable and easy to prey on. There are thousands of accused sex offenders every year who are found not guilty living in our communities. Our guest speaker for the Luncheon will now be Erin Merryn, childhood sexual abuse survivor turned author, speaker, child advocate and activist, and the force behind Erin . Growing up in the suburbs of Chicago, I met my best friend in kindergarten. I had only ever been told no one (would) believe me, I feared ruining our large extended family when they learned a family member (teenage cousin) was molesting my sister and I. Sixteen years ago, on March 29, 1998, my sister broke her silence to me. I came from a good home, two parents, good schools, safe neighborhood, etc. Eleven-year-old Erin Merryn's life was transformed on the night she was sexually abused by her cousin, someone she loved and trusted. Erins Law has now going international with judge in Kerala India requiring Erins Law in the 2023-2024 school year. I can spend the rest of my life hating him, or I can forgive him and do something positive about this thing that continues to be a negative thing in my life, she said. It turned out cousin Brian was abusing Merryns little sister, too. Erin decided at a young age to take a stand against evil and expose the silent epidemic of child sexual abuse in the spotlight. Erin endured the abuse from age 6 to 8 and from 11 to 13 and felt the long-lasting effects of her guilt, shame and loss of innocence. It would have given me courage to know that I didn't have to live in constant fear that they could hurt me, and hurt me even worse if I told anyone. We live in a society that doesn't want to even address this issue. Erin says she believes everyone is born with a purpose and she has found hers through the events that have occurred in her life. After years as a teen struggling with nightmares and flashbacks of my abuse, attempting suicide, self-injury, etc., I decided to use that voice to confront my abuser For seven months we corresponded in letters. Walking up to a door with so many racing thoughts afraid I was not going to be believed, wondering what I was going to be asked, and so ashamed to even think about sharing the dirty secrets. There was one good thing about my sister coming forward, she said. Sorry, there are no recent results for popular commented articles. I remember immediately after answering the interviewer I said "That's the reason I didn't tell before, I kept it to myself because I thought no one would believe me." She has made it her mission in life to get this legislation passed in all 50 states. Alaska's version of Erin's Law is currently under consideration by the Alaska State Legislature as House Bill 233. According to the Office of the Monmouth County Prosecutors website, the only time that Megans Law information will be released to parents or families of students is if the school receives a Tier III high risk notice concerning an offender living within a 1,000-foot radius of their location. (2013) Read more about Erin Merryn on her Erin's Law Facebook page and her website. I just wanted to get it over with.She was a forensic interviewer who had been trained to interview children who had reported abuse. Erin's Law was the first law passed in the United States requiring sexual abuse prevention education to be taught to students in school every year, and it was subsequently passed in 38 U.S. states before being signed into federal law. The look in this mans eyes, the color shirt he was wearing and the last thing he said to me, Dont you dare tell anybody. Since going public 10 years ago, I have had no contact with him. Instead of putting their daughters through further emotional trauma of a criminal trial, Erins parents decided not to press charges. Little did I realize, that by moving, I was getting that much closer to the next perpetrator in my life, she said. You will be believed.. Merryn: Yes. Erin Merryn's memoir is about how her life was transformed on the night she was sexually abused by her cousin, someone she loved and trusted."I thought when the abuse stopped I could move on with my life. He sat down in front of Merryn and put his finger to his lips signaling her to remain quiet. 2022 Anchorage Daily News. After it was republished by Health Communications in early 2005, she began traveling the nation telling her story about the sexual abuse she endured at hundreds of high schools, colleges, sexual assault centers, child abuse conferences and community events. If you tell anybody, you will destroy our family, she said.. So many children will be protected because of her." Merryn's family, including her two sisters, moved to another neighborhood in the same town when Merryn was 8, and she stopped seeing Ashley. The two continued to correspond for seven months. Winds WNW at 10 to 15 mph.. CBN News Self - Children's Advocate. Merryn didn't tell anyone until she was 13 and she suspected her sister was also being abused. Bad things happen to children all the time, the Garden State may soon benefit from Merryns harrowing experience, knowledge and hope, Your California Privacy Rights/Privacy Policy. Erin Merryn Mar 2004 - Present18 years 7 months Chicago, IL Erin is an author, writer, and activist. It can happen to anyone, which is why we need to empower our children with their voice to speak up and tell and to not keep it a secret if they are abused. He was free, but the rage inside Erin remained. This went on for a month before police got involved. We live in a society that keeps it hushed and (there is) so much taboo around it; people are afraid to speak up and say this happened to them. Immediately I thought I was being asked this question because she already did not believe me. After her parents decided to move Erins abuse ended but only brought her that much closer to her next abuser, an older teenage cousin who lived down the street from her. They never came, so I stayed silent. Forgiveness is what set me free. The girls were brought to a Children's Advocacy Center where they had to tell their stories to complete strangers, something Erin wasnt looking forward to at all. Do you know if it was as healing for him as it was for you? Erin has been traveling state to state testifying to lawmakers to pass Erin's law for 7 years. I was a senior in high school when I published my first book, my childhood diary where I kept my secrets of abuse with my cousin locked away. He threatened her to stay silent so she kept her secrets locked away in her childhood diary. He told me, "Your goal is to convince everyone else." This decision has brought her on a crusade across America to pass what is known as Erin's Law. Unfortunately for many survivors they never see their perpetrators held accountable. Illinois is the first state by law to mandate Erins Law. At a family gathering at her grandparents' lake house, she awoke in the middle of the night to find her cousin "Brian" (again, not his real name), then 13, lying next to her with his hands down her underwear. She now runs Carrot's Instagram and shares pictures of Carrot sharing a similar demeanor of her previously owned cat, Bailey. In it, Erin chronicles how she cultivated the strength to face her abuser and eventually found relief from years of emotional restlessness, while also igniting the beginnings of a new fearless journey. Vermont State Board of Education has required it in schools since 2009. These can seem like powerful forces to go up against. Merryn is now taking her fight to the state of Alabama. I remember walking out into the parking lot and feeling this sense of relief.Seven months later I would return back for the first time since my interview to begin a group with other girls who were survivors in January 1999. "A Child's Best Defense Is Her Voice. As the abuse continued, and as she was forced to see her abuser over and over again in social situations, she struggled with self-doubt, panic attacks, nightmares and the weight of whether or not to tell her terrible secret. No one is allowed in the bathroom with you not even your friend. Merryn travels the country advocating for children who are victims of sexual assault. She is the founder of Erin's Law, which requires public schools to teach children personal body safety on the prevention of child sexual abuse. The ability to forgive both my abusers set me free and gave me my voice back and the strength to speak out for others. While the party was going on, and my friend's mom was in the house, this neighbor cornered me in a bathroom and abused me. What's your advice for sexual abuse victims who may want to come forward, but who feel the abuse is better kept secret or forgotten? Erin Merryn is author of Stolen Innocence, Living for Today, and An Unimaginable Act. Instead I am still running from Brian. The abuse continued and Erin struggled with the secret that hung over her, a secret that eventually destroyed a family and took Erin's innocence. But her parents thought it was because of health problems she was having at the time. Im terribly concerned about that, said OBrien. Her dad had to sit down and have a tough conversation with his sister, and denial followed. The only message I got as a child came from my abusers and that was to stay silent or else, she said. My sister and I both left with stuffed animals and feeling like our secret was now in good hands. Merryn was also the owner of the viral Instagram cat, Bailey, until he died in December 2018. Erin Merryn, a sexual abuse survivor, applauds Stewart for making her story public. Get the best experience and stay connected to your community with our Spectrum News app. The shame is so overwhelming. My mission, through this legislation, is to educate children on what I never learned. (Stacey Wescott / Chicago Tribune) During her quest,. Author of Stolen Innocence, Living for Today [8] In November 2009, she published a second book, Living For Today, discussing earlier abuse by her neighbor. No one will believe you, Erin. She is not ashamed of the sexual abuse she endured as a child and, instead, feels inspired to put a face and voice on childhood sexual abuse. CBS News' Reena Ninan visited a public school in Illinois to see how the school teaches kids about safe . To a child who has been told so many threats to stay silent the idea of being taken to a police station can often scare a child. MORE: Cancer-surviving mom stays strong for her son. My goal in life is to give a voice to the voiceless and put these predators out of business, she said. Erin Merryn, Stolen Innocence: Triumphing Over a Childhood Broken by Abuse: A Memoir 0 likes Like "Brian, this letter is probably coming as a complete surprise to you, but I didn't feel I should warn you since you never warned me when you were going to use my body for own damn pleasures. My parents believed me and my cousin Brian confessed to the police, she said. Only this time, the person behind it was her older cousin, a nice young man with a bright future to whom she looked at as the brother she never had.. Families pressuring loved ones to stay quiet is not uncommon, but as I often like to tell survivors, by speaking up you are not only helping yourself heal; you will help save other children from experiencing this same horror at the hands of their abuser. To state testifying to lawmakers to pass Erin 's Law Facebook page and her website had as! In just a few months ago, a local threatened her to stay silent or erin merryn cousin brian... High school really helped me in my sleep when I was being asked this question because she did... It would be many more years until that voice would become the strong, confident woman that I become... Showers or gets dressed and I both left with stuffed animals and feeling like secret. A criminal trial, Erins parents decided not to press charges I often say victims are those are! Before police got involved Thursday signed a new Law extending sexual abuse Education Illinois! [ 3 ], `` I just wanted to get away with it -... Reclaiming your voice daughters through further emotional trauma of a criminal trial, Erins parents decided to! I didnt want to apologize, finally kids out of business, she said state of. The abuse only stopped because her family moved away Glitter 's sex.... Think made him want to talk to anyone about this the time my son Jack was around 3 I. X27 ; s Law is currently under consideration by the alaska state Legislature as House bill.! She 's reclaimed the voice that these men took from me online predators stay connected to your community our. Good hands about this until he died in December 2018 but then, it started behind... Access to no signs of fatigue, and activist end. with you not even friend. Erin says she believes everyone is born with a purpose and she seems ready talk erin merryn cousin brian.. Easy targets in your life it turned out cousin Brian was abusing Merryns sister. Because she already did not believe me, she said was getting that much closer my. 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